See ya JD

Why is Catcher in the Rye one of the best novels either? Because everyone who reads it thinks, this is great. There's finally a writer who gets me. Someone who can reach inside my head and put on paper all the things I'm thinking. Everyone who reads this thinks they're Holden.

I think I was twelve or thirteen the first time I read it. He had me at the first page going on about this isn't no Charles Dickens David Copperfield crap. And I still see the phonies he talked every day of my life.

You were a curious guy, JD. People were curious and awed about how you chose to leave your life. I hope they'll think real carefully about it if they really release anything from that secret volt you're supposed to have.

Encouraging News Today.

Just another quick thought on the recent Supreme Court ruling. It creates a huge loophole. Foreign nationals have never been allowed to donate money. The thought is foreign nationals should not be able to taint our elections. But now, all one would have to do is spent the $100 to incorporate and use that corporation to funnel in as much money as they want. A Chinese, Saudi, or Isreali corporation could simply open a US subsidiary and throw in as much money as it wants. I can't be the only one that thinks this is nuts, right?

I just got back from taking S to the doctors today. For the first time in months we actually got some positive news. The latest drug, though it makes her cranky as heck, seems to have helped rewire her brain a bit. The really bad brain waves seem to be under control. Which means she may have a change to develop a little more normally now.

It's not a cure all. She's still got some general underdevelopment, but it's the first time we can at least say things don't seem to be getting any worse.

Now let's hope Obama can encourage people to make changes today as well.

We need a Consitutional Amendment

Wow. New broad sweeping rules from the Supreme Court. Essentially, what they are saying is that because the first amendment is so important the government needs a "compelling" reason to keep corporations from spending what they want in campaigns. Money = Speech.

So when you add it all up it looks like free speech and democracy is the winner in all this. Corporations are going to exercise free speech just like everyone else. But really, what's going to happen is that the individual will have the deck stacked against him/her ever more when trying to make a difference.

Exxon made $85 billion just in profit last year. Say they wanted to take 10 percent and spend it on elections. $8.5 billion is more than Obama + McCain + Everyone in Congress spent on their elections in 2008. And that's just one company. There is some reason to fear that we've just sold off our entire government.

Democracy is supposed to work well because everyone has roughly the same information. The marketplace of ideas. But Swiftboaters and Tea Baggers will tell you with some truth that the marketplace has been overwhelmed. Few politicians can control their own image anymore. It's a free for all with people lying for them and against them. That's only due to become more true. The health insurance lobby, the drug lobby, these are the people with the almost limitless resources that can now buy whatever they want.

And really, democracy is supposed to be government by people, not government by the artificial immortal legal entities that we created. Really, these corporations should be concentrating on what they are supposed to do, creating wealth.

There are some suggestions for laws to work around the decisions. One suggestion is making sure shareholders approve of any contributions by corporations. But really, the thing to do is amend the Constitution to say Corporations can not buy elections.

Blood & Toil

Honestly, I'm losing track of how many times they're poking my kid. Yesterday for MLK day she got poked. Today, she's getting poked again. Fortunately, I've got the time to take her today. All the rain has caused a blackout at work.

So she's on some serious medication that has her immune system all out of whack. They've warned that we should be extra extra careful in keeping her away from germy people. So we're talking about keeping the other kid out of preschool for the next month to prevent from being a germ factory. Is this a reasonable thing to do? I haven't figured it out yet.

My local hospital ratings.

S is out again. This was a shorter hospital stay. There's a new drug regimen and let's hope that it's better than the last.

So over the last couple years now, I've had the chance to stay over at a couple different hospitals. Usually in the maternity or peds wards. I'm probably more of an expert than I would want to be.

Some awards and notes:

Most convenient: Mills-Peninsula. This was the closest and takes the least time to get to. Unfortunately, it's not quite so full service for the specialty services we've needed. Stanford is a convenient location, but little else.

Best Parking: Mills-Peninsula. The only one where parking wasn't a complete struggle and the only one that didn't charge or require validation. CPMC has ridiculous parking. By far, the worst. No elevators in most of their lots. What is one supposed to do with a babystroller? Also the lot was always full, but they would led you in and circle for 20 minutes looking for non-existent spots because they were too lazy to put out a sign that said FULL. LPCH has barely adequate parking, thought I dont' know what they'll do after rennovations are complete. UCSF has a funky parking lot that is built into one of those steep San Francisco hills, but we never had a problem getting a spot.

Best Environment: UCSF. Only because I know Stanford was LPCH a good environment. I could reach it by bike when need be. CPMC had a nice view, but beyond a Starbucks and a small grocery store a block away had nothing to offer. UCSF is located near my old hood in inner Sunset. It was nice to be able to take a short walk down some familiar streets and get some good food that I haven't had in a while.

Best Facilities. CPMC and Mills both had pretty good rooms. I would put UCSF and LPCH a notch below that in terms of comfort.

Best Food: Hospital food isn't ever really good, but I would pick CPMC. UCSF had the worst. I got a random plate that claimed Steak, but all it contained was about a dozen french fries without any meat.

Best Social Services: Each has a chaplain, a dietician and nursing consultants. The LPCH nurse nazi was a bit intimidating in her demands and I liked the dietician I met at UCSF. But I know to see specialists, LPCH is a landmine to try to navigate and costly.

Best Nurses: I think Mills had the best service. They were very helpful at a time where we really didn't know what to do. LPCH was uneven. It had some amazing people, and some not so amazing. CPMC was a disappointment on this front. Our kid needed to be poked several times, but they found something to laugh in all that. UCSF was okay, though they were often trailed by students. And for those who care, UCSF definitely had the prettiest staff too. In general, UCSF made me feel really old.

Best Doctors: Honestly, I find this one hard to rate. So I'll skip it. All I'll say is that LPCH and UCSF were teaching hospitals so be prepared to repeat your story over and over again for an endless parade of people, residence, interns, day shifts, night shifts and assorted nurses and specialists. And the only thing I'll say, which I blogged about somewhere in the past, is that the guy we got at CPMC was a little bit of a clown and not a people person.

Best Overal Experience: Wifey might disagree, but I'm okay with going to any of these places other than CPMC. I think I felt most listened to at UCSF. Unfortunately, our insurance situation could still send us there in the future, but maybe I need to change that next year.

Another hospital stay

So I'm back at the hospital again. I don't think I've ever stayed in a hospital for any injury to myself. But S is spending way too many nights in the hospital. For the parents it's like a not so private, not so comfortable hotel room. I wondered what people did before computers. At least I'm able to check internet, and if mood, and circumstance allow, I might even be able to get some work done. Probably not, but I can try.

I"m not sure what it's like for S. I guess I wouldn't want to be poked and prodded every couple of hours. This place is a training hospital. There are a lot of doctors running around.

A lot of things are going on. It's like a puzzle and no one can really see the whole picture yet. Her overall condition hasn't changed, but we need to change our strategy, because things really haven't gotten better either.

Looking for Vampires who can draw blood.

It was a rough day for us today. Especially the littlest one. She was at the hospital at 7 this morning to draw blood before the parents went to work. But the vampires needed a lot of blood. A lot more than they could get out of such a tiny person. Two attempts in the morning got us about a 5th of the way there. Then she needed to see the doctor where she got checked out for a couple different things. Rash, possible teething, carryover fro a Friday flu shot, and a check on the blood levels for the medications she was under. Too much going on. All very confusing. Doctor had to call in a second doctor to take a look. Then they decided they still needed to do all the other blood tests. So she had to go back to the hospital for another blood draw. And they tried to find a vein, but they couldn't because she was pretty dehydrated. So she went back to the car to try and get some quiet rest and rehydrate. Then back in an hour later. Then blood poke. Took some blood. This time got most of the blood needed, but the most important test didn't get done. So after three or four pokes she's going back tomorrow. Not a good time.

Bullying

At lunch today, my coworkers and I hit upon the topic of bullying. It's wrong. It's been around forever. And in large part until we turn teachers into cops, it's left to the poor kids being bullied to do something or find some way to cope. I was one of a very few Asian kids going to my school. I knew a couple bullies in may day. Sometimes, I fought. Sometimes I was too scared to fight. And I guess that's just the way it was. And I couldn't say I'm totally innocent either. There are somethings I regret saying to other kids when I was growing up. Not that I was out to get anyone, but sometimes, things would go further than they should.

Anyway, I just read a novel called Black Swan Green by David Mitchell. A little series of short stories about a 12 year old English boy growing up. At one point, he's getting bullied and he takes matter into his own hands. His teacher knows he's being bullied, but doesn't want to directly get involved. Instead the teacher leaves a note for him to read. It's sort of a small guide on bullies that I wish I'd written.

Contrary to popular wisdom, bullies are rarely cowards.

Bullies come in various shapes and sizes. Observe yours. Gather intelligence.

Shunning one hopeless battle is not an act of cowardice.

Hankering for security or popularity makes you weak and vulnerable.

Which is worse: Scorn earned by informers? Misery endured by victims?

The brutal may have been molded by a brutality you cannot exceed.

Let guile by your ally.

Respect earned by integrity cannot be lost without your consent.

Don't laugh at what you don't find funny.

Don't support an opinion you don't hold.

The independent befriend the independent.

Adolescenc dies in its fourth year. You live to be eighty.

The last 10 years.

Since this is the closest I come to keeping a journal or a diary, I think it's a good place to reflect on the last decade. If ten years ago someone had asked me to write that essay on where I saw myself in 10 years, I would have missed the boat just like everyone else. I'm married. I've got two kids. I've got a house and a mortgage to prove it. All pretty normal standard stuff, but I'm doubtful I could have predicted any of it for myself. I just didn't know any better. But personally, those are all good things, and I'm happy with where things are. I've grown as a person in so many ways.

On a more global level, when I think about what this decade meant, I think it was mostly about the actualization that more often than not the so called leaders and experts don't know what they are talking about. Yes, there has always been a certain amount of deceit in leadership. Often nothing more than thinly contructed pretexts for military involvement, but in these past 10 years, our President led us to an unncessary war on the flimsiest of evidence. Also the leaders of our macro economy demonstrated that they didn't really have a handle on things and we were plunged into the deepest recession in generations.

As a result of that and the propogation of pseudo information across the internet and cable tv, we have become the most overloaded on information people ever yet. We've had to work harder to try and discern the truth because everyone is so intent to pull the wool over our eyes. I hate to say that reason and truth have lost ground, but that's pretty much how I feel. All of a sudden there are truths rather than the singular truth in our discourse. Facts and opinions seem to be the same thing. And thanks to people like Rush, Ann Coulter and a fair share of left wing nut jobs, we've also gotten a lot snarkier.

I think a lot of people would say they are worse off now than they were at the beginning of the decade. Hopefully, the next one will be better.

And the last week or so.

The clock is ticking. It's mere hours before I go back to working. Another year another dollar. I'm not exactly looking forward to going back to work, but I'm okay with it.

The break has actually been very nice. We had a chance to hang with a lot of family and friends. Little J has been having a blast because she's had different friends to play with every day for the last couple of days. We've seen lots of people and had lots of laughs and good times. Though we're still old and lame enough that we didn't actually make it to midnight on New Year's Eve. We ended up going home around 10:30.

We actually managed a date day too. I dragged Wifey out to Avatar and she didn't fall asleep or pull out her phone to start texting people in the middle of the movie. We then had tapas for dinner. Not the best, but it was just to have something different without the kids.

I didn't really get a whole lot of writing done. I think that's just the new life with kids. Oh well.

One thing I want to rant about. Maybe every family has one. A flashpoint. A topic no one wants to bring up because it's never been resolved and guarantees a fight. With my family, it happens whenever I am returning from visiting my parents. My grandma and mom are loving well meaning souls who tend to overpack their love. Every time I leave, they offer up anything lying around the house that they aren't using, and any food item that I or anyone in my extended bay area family (brother, cousin, uncle, aunt) have at any point said that they liked. When I fly, I can legitimately claim limited space, but when I drive the van, they aren't satisfied unless there isn't an inch of space left in that vehicle when I leave.

Some of the stuff is useful, but sometimes, it's really overdone. Last week, they insisted that take a bag of bean sprouts because even if they have bean sprouts in the Bay Area, they must cost a lot more. It's not really Wifey's position to say, No-that's enough. It's mine. And I try with rare success. But it's my dad who sees everything being packed who sort of loses it. He keeps trying to tell them that most of the stuff they're packing we can buy up here for a lot less effort.

And this same argument has been happening every time I leave the house since college. I think the same happens for my brother. It doesn't make me want to go home any more but it would be nice if it didn't happen every time.