QA2

1. Now that you have had a chance to get to know Jordan better, what do you think she will be when she grows up?

Anything she wants to be. Though I''d place odds against pilot or Olympic gymnast at this point. Personality-wise and interest- wise it's hard to tell if she takes more after mommy or daddy.

2. Can you smell Jordan's diaper without crinkling your nose? I usually think my stuff isn't so bad, but I wouldn't want to catch a whiff of anyone else's.

I've not seen every color and every consistency of poo that you can probably imagine. You've got to remember, most of the time it isn't that bad. It isn't always Number 2. And it doesn't really start to stink until there's real food involved. It isn't easy, but I can pass the crinkle test.


3. If you're Yao Ming standing at a urinal or in a stall with a clear view of neighbors, how inclined are you to assure them that you're not looking at them?

If I'm Yao Ming, I've seen everything there is to see. I'm also probably more shy about people getting a look at me than I am of checking someone else. A couple years ago, the Japanese media offered a boatload of cash for a naked picture of Ichiro and he was given a private locker room. If I were a celebrity like Yao, I think I'd be more worried about this than trying to reassure someone else's privacy. Do guys really check each other out in the bathroom? I don't think I've witnessed this kind of behavior.

4. What's the toughest problem you've solved while in the bathroom?

If you mean while sitting on the can, I'm not sure I've ever had any brilliant epiphanies. I tend to try and get my business over with. I have had the thought, that it would be one of the last places I would want to die. I guess I've had the challenge that other people have had, realizing that there isn't any toilet paper handy, but I've never been left completely unaided and distressed.

But funny enough, for some reason, story ideas tend to come to me when I'm brushing my teeth. I've never really understood why. It might because it's just a routine action, that I let my mind go. I'm not sure. But I find myself sometimes jotting down some really interesting notes after brushing my teeth.

5. What type of person would be Dinesh's ideal mate? Bonus points for providing a name.

Actually, the first name that came to mind was Dennis Rodman. I know he's got that strange man crush for some reason. And if he'd swing that way, the two of them might really understand each other. Or maybe if he cloned himself. That's just another kind of man crush.

Thank you for giving the opportunity to provide an opinion that he would never solicit. And yes, if I were to be perfectly honest, I do think I stand a better chance of knowing his idea mate than he does.

A quick summary. He/she would need 1. the patience of a saint to watch him err again and again. 2. the intellect to challenge him 3. the humility to listen to endless stories about him 4. the judgement to know which portions of his story are bull, 5. the courage to tell him they are bull 6. the maturity to accept that despite the graying hairs, he will always be a little boy 7, the leadership to guide him, 8. the vision to see the small kernel of goodness hiding underneath all the layers, 9. the confidence to trust him, 10. the loyalty to earn his trust.

Most importantly, a strong hammer to beat some sense into him. This really is one of these topics that could go on forever. Many of us have heard about his failures with this girl or that girl. We've examined and re-examined. We've tried to extract meaningful lessons to impart to him. But really, I'm not convinced that the ideal mate is something he's that interested in finding.