Saying it Outloud

I've just gotten back from sunny 90 degree LA and 48 degree sunny/cloudy/sunny/cloudy Portland. LA was nice. Little J had the chance to bond with the grandparents, but it didn't really seem to be her thing. We'll need to work on that with her. We went to a wedding, which is always a fun thing to do when you don't have to be responsible for anything.

In Portland I actually did have responsibilities. I had a public speaking opportunity. I was part of a panel presenting talking about work stuff that hopefully helps other people do their work a little better. I'm not used to public speaking. I don't crave the attention, the opportunities, but if I'm comfortable with the material, I'm not someone who will shy away from it either. Someone has to do it. Lots of people do it all the time. But part of me still feels like I'm conning people. Why would anyone ever pay anything to hear me speak about anything? Why would anyone pay for me to fly anywhere or put me up in a hotel to hear me say anything? That's a weird concept.

I've heard good things about my presentation. I'm glad. I really do hope people got something out of it. But I do feel uncomfortable when people compliment me on the talk. The cynic in me is looking for the agenda. Are they saying it just to be polite? Are they saying it because they have nothing else to say? (I've been guilty of this.) Are they saying this so I'll feel confident enough to stick my neck out and do more of this public speaking. Hmm.

Last note. Portland is a great little town. Very walkable. Lots of little bubbling fountains everywhere. Less rain than reputed. Hometown of the Simpsons creator. Many of the characters on the show are named after streets in this town. This place is the real Springfield.